Go Your Own Way

Going against expected normalities can lead to freedom

Being in the middle of a heat wave I went off in my little mini to our local asda. To be honest I actually didn’t need much but the air conditioning was tempting, anyway I digress. As I pulled into the slip road leaving the giant grilled four wheel drive sitting on my backside to go play pacman with someone else also smaller than them on the A259, I thought actually i’ll get some petrol. For some reason the car in front didn’t follow the rules, I mean everyone knows you pull forward and the car behind slots into the second pump, it was really disconcerting, I even checked the pump in front of him for an out of order sign, nothing! Even as I manoeuvred around him, then got out of my car to pay and fill, I was waiting for someone to say “it’s not working love!” again nothing! So there I am already uncomfortable when something even weirder happens.

A lady drives into the main entrance, brilliant rule following, but then she drives to the big space in front of all the pumps, turns around and enters the pumps from the wrong direction. Well I couldn’t believe it, for a nano second I was concerned for her mental health. However I casually glanced over keeping the shock from showing on my face and realised she was completely calm and not showing any signs of anxious overwhelm, in fact I even stopped myself asking if she knew pumps are designed to reach the other side of the car. To be fair she probably didn’t want to scratch it.

It was while I stood there pondering the unusual events that had unfolded in the few minutes since arriving, that I suddenly realised how free this lady must feel, there are no rules to say which way round your car should be. In fact I felt myself becoming a little bit envious of not just her lateral thinking in this situation but also the confidence she had in going against the unspoken rules of society at a petrol pump!

It was the same confidence I have when I am working with a person and their dog, I forget who I am and as any insecurities dissolve, I am there in the moment with both of you. It’s at this moment of listening to you tell me how you have followed all the rules unquestioningly, that I feel for you. It is my job to research and follow the science of dog psychology and even human psychology, my hobby is neuroscience so that your hobby can be crochet or hiking with your four legged companion keeping you company.

Let me get to the point of where I am going with this; I want you to question and think outside of the box. Think about what you want from your dog, write it down, start a journal, next make a note of what your dog is capable of achieving. For example not every dog can sit at the kerb, if you have a sighthound then sitting in general can be uncomfortable. If you have a dog that is a little nervous, sitting at the kerb is the most vulnerable position that you could put them in. As humans we have been conditioned our whole lives to believe that the kerb is an invisible shield of protection that cars will not cross. Imagine being a dog who has no concept that kerbs are safe, they trust their human implicitly but are now having their trust tested because the human has sat them in a spot that has high speed tanks flying at them and just missing them by a couple of feet. They are probably thinking ‘I love you but you are bloody insane! In this situation how could we do things differently?

First of all you would show them these new things (high speed metal boxes) from a safe distance until they felt comfortable moving closer. Mine have ‘car’ labelled for them everytime we are passed by one on a country lane, they have been taught ‘wait’. Then the words ‘wait, car’ are put together. They stay still and move forward once it has passed. At a kerb we wait, a car passes, we move. I want you to question every simple rule of dog training this way, I also want you to question things for yourself. I had a mental block on writing for you for example, a silly fear a friend had instilled over punctuation and grammar, but you know what, the information with my quirks sprinkled throughout needs to get to you so sod the rules. On the up side at least you know I am not AI, even when I do write like an old time traveller.

My message to you today is sometimes, if it’s legal, go the wrong way, look at life from the other way around. I bet it triggers your novelty neurons in turn making life a little bit brighter.

Much Love

Janeen, Poppy and Merlin

Categories: : confidence